Let care go.. a diary excerpt.

It hurts so much to care.

The burning face, dizzy head; need to separate from everything; wishing everything would instantly disappear and if it cannot, wishing that I could vanish from everything instead.

Reject. Disconnect. Float in an eerie sense of being, that only one looking to escape can ever enter and experience.

But not caring… Not caring is eternally walking down a sterile white corridor with faceless, sealed doors and covered peepholes, where the unswallowed tears build up and all you know is that you’ve forgotten.

Something.

Smirking at you from the depths of your mind… and still you do not swallow.

I’m stuck in this corridor, face burning and doors spinning. From the floor jeers a wide line between caring and not caring, and standing on its face, I still look for a way up.

Not to the left, nor the right; I just don’t want to be here, nor there.

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